One poke over the lion.

Not that I'm saying, punkin, that you should be a lion tamer. Or a zookeeper. You don't have to live up to any paternal expectations where your choice of career is concerned. I know that my mum (your grammy) always said that she just wanted me to be happy. Naturlich, that is almost exactly as infuriating as it sounds, particularly where one is asking for advice, but it turned out, as with many things your various grandparents (see also: step grandparents, grand step parents, great grandparents, great grand step parents, great step grandparents etc) said to me over the course of my 34 years on this planet, to make much more sense when I got older.

Not that, you should understand, that I'm saying you don't understand stuff until you're ancient like me. Certainly, you understand a great many things. Like, frinstance, that one shouldn't get this close to a lioness unless a) she's asleep and b) there's about 3 feet of perspex between you and her.

Love you,

thanks for the card, and the whizzbang cordless screwdriver

Missing Link

P1040451
Originally uploaded by billyjoebob

So, punkin, as you've probably figured out by now, I'm not at home. I'm in the wonderful, cosmopolitan city to your north, known by most as Sydney. I'm here for work, so I can at least feel like I'm doing something positive, but I miss you and your mum so very much that at times it seems to be not at all worth it.

When you rang me last night (to tell me that you were eating a rice cake), I felt my biceps contracting, wanting to reach through the ether and hold you. When I kissed you goodbye before dawn on Monday, you woke up ever so slightly, smiled, said "Daddy", and lay your hand on my face. I know, now, how it is that people can walk away from their kids and loved ones to go on business trips. They do it by steeling themselves, and by making lots of phonecalls home.

Also, in your father's case, by buying a new videogame to play in the work-furnished beige anonymous apartment.

I'll not be gone as long as I'd originally thought, and will be home to share the weekend with you the weekend after next. Of course, in the timescale of a two year old boy, that is about 4000 years, so I'm glad that I have photos of you and get to talk to you often.

Not, it should be said, that you really "get" the whole concept of telephones yet. The number of things you DO get is still astonishing us every day, most notably you have recently been showcasing your ability to count to ten (although you're not quite at the point of remembering ALL the numbers ALL the time, you DO hit the important ones. Fives are your favourite.)

We also keep finding out stuff that you already know, that we haven't taught you. Just the other day, we were at your MaMa and DadDad's house, and you pointed at the TV screen and said "castle" (rightly). The feeling of pride that got me was almost overwhelmed by the sense of confusion. As parents, I think that one makes an assumption that our child learns only what we teach them. This is clearly not the case.

You're also learning about social networks. You're fascinated by babies, to the point of asking us if we can go and visit your mate Finn (who is a tiny wee bebe). You also have friends at daycare that you know by name, and demand to see fairly often.

I'm sad that I'm going to miss two weeks of your constant changes. I'm sad that I have to be away from you.
I'm happy, though, that being away from you is making it possible for me to provide a more stable base from which you can grow, and learn, and play and eat.
I'm glad that I'm able to feel within myself that I am becoming the most important thing to be for you.
and I

Love you.

Rocket? Yeah!

P1040414
Originally uploaded by billyjoebob

So yeah, punkin, it's been over a month since your dad last wrote to you. What can I say, it's not like I haven't had the time... There's been a bit of a problem with my work over the last couple of months - the man who I worked for decided he wanted to let someone else have a turn at doing the stuff I did for him, and so your dad had a lengthy period of time to play videogames.

Unfortunately punkin, and you will figure this out as you get older, there are inherent advantages and disadvantages to both employment and unemployment, the two being diametrically opposed in both the amount of free time they afford you, and the amount of money you get paid.

Being unemployed is wonderful in the amount of free time that one obtains, however the pay rate leaves much to be desired.

It is an ancient saying that one's lifestyle will automatically alter to fit one's income, however this generally only works in the expansion phase of income generation, rather than the contraction phase. We are faced, then, with a family situation that is predicated on the availability of a certain level of funding that is, at the current time, unavailable.

So your dad has been frantically surfing the intertubes, and calling people and arranging meetings. So good is your dad at this, punkin, that some people are going to pay for your dad to go On An Aeroplane to talk to them in Sydney. This is A Good Thing, but will mean that I won't be able to spend as much time with you tomorrow as I would like.

In turning two, you have changed the way you do some things, your vocabulary is expanding so fast that your mum and grandparents and aunts and uncles and I are having trouble keeping up with how many words you know now. It's now possible to have conversations with you, and to figure out what's happening in your head much more easily. It's also (and this has been stated more than once in the annals of history) constantly amusing and amazing to hear what you say. The idea that you're now able to construct sentences from words that you haven't heard together before is something that's making me feel much closer to you.

You've also found the words for cuddles and kisses, both of which you are hugely fond of, in addition to your two new friends, both called Finn.

I'll try to write to you just a tad more often, and maybe even take some new photos....

Love you,