April 11, 2006
May the Fourth be with You
A quick glance at a calendar will tell you that the first anniversary of your birth is rapidly approaching, and, as is the custom in this part of the world, we will be Throwing A Party to celebrate.
Apparently how it works is that YOU get showered with all manner of gifts (mate I've seen some of these, you are going to be very very happy), and I get nothing.
This seems to me to be the wrong way around.
One would think, punkin, that upon the birthday of such a sterling example of babyhood as yourself, your PARENTS should be the ones who are congratulated, toasted, and showered with all manner of loot. Personally I'm a huge fan of presents, especially those with my name on them. We could change the name of it from "birthday party" to "you didn't chuck the kid out the window for another year party".
In any case, for this year at least, it seems that I've left my run a bit late, and may have to begin my campaign in earnest next year. To that end, I've made an executive decision (after some brief consultation with your mother, which may or may not have involved some threat of physical violence being perpetrated on my person) that we will, for this year, stick to the standard format.
Party pies, fairy bread, sausage rolls et al.
The date for said celebration to end all celebrations has been set as the Sunday after your birthday, which appears to be the 7th of May, and festivities are scheduled to begin around 2 in the PM and cease around 5. Food, it seems, will be provided for all manner of freeloaders and sundry drop-ins, although any plonk they are clutching in their hot little hands will be confiscated on entry and evaluated to determine their seating position in relation to the birthday boy.
Avid readers of this particular corner of the intarweb should take this post to be an invitation, and should email your dad here for address details.