December 01, 2006

The long dark night

Originally uploaded by billyjoebob.
As with every alarming post on here, punkin, we should of course begin by saying that everything is under control. That forces for good and righteousness are in action, and that everything, punkin, is Going to Be OK.

It will not, however, be without its challenges.

Sometimes, through no fault of anyone, the darkness and the clouds roll in on you, and it doesn't seem like there's any way out. Sometimes, it seems like trying to wait through the dark night to the dawn of a new day, a brighter day, a day more full of sunshine is too long to bear.

Sometimes, it hits you in a wave, then another wave, then a crescendo, a building symphony of weight crashing on your head, without surcease or a chance to take a breath.

It's at these times, punkin, and especially at these times, that we must reach out to those who love us and ask for their help. It is at those times alone that we truly find out who's on our team.

A much wiser man than I once said that you will never know who's on your side until you ask them to go into bat. That's probably not the right quote, but I think the sentiment stands.

Your dad's a bit sick, and I'm going to go away for a little while. I might not see you for a few days. You should hold on tight to your mum, she's going to need those strong little arms around her neck and those glorious sloppy kisses more than ever. You should remember that you, Bramble, are the sunshine for us. You are the dawn that we look forward to (sometimes a little more literally than we would like, you ARE allowed to wake up after 6am you know).

And you, my wee monkey man, you are the lifeline to which I will cling while I'm gone.

You won't ever know how much I love you. One day I hope you'll read this (by now interminably lengthy) letter to you and begin to grasp just a tiny iota of what you mean to me, begin to take hold of the idea that I will be here for you, looking after you and over you and around you and behind you and in front of you, for the rest of your life.

Know at least for now that you're the one I'm here for. That my only job, the most important job anyone could ever have, is to be your dad.

And I plan to stick around for long enough to be able to tell these last words so that you'll understand.

I Love You.


Anonymous said...

Get better soon! Your post sounds rather ominous!

E in Oz said...

I agree. You're in my thoughts...all of you. I hope that whatever it is, you get through it as well as possible.

Sending healing vibes. Sounds like you might need them.


blurry said...

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. I hope you're going to be ok.

Steff said...

Oh I hope you do get better - Here's thinking of you

Pol said...

Bill, is everything alright? Will mail directly.

love to you all

Pol x

Feisty said...

Hi everyone, it's eve here.

Bill has had a tough time but he's in the hospital getting treatment from some excellent doctors and nurses.

We will keep you all posted on his progress via the pumpkindiary...

Thanks everyone for your kind words, they mean a lot.


rowdygrammy said...

And in case you don't know, Rowdy & Grandad Phil are here. Bill, Eve and Bram and are surrounded by their family and friends. Grandad Ian, Jann, Uncle Dave, Harry & Liz and many others are all here. It is indeed a long night but together we will get through it.
Please keep us in your thoughts, and if it is what you do, pray.