November 25, 2004

the blessed relief of the blank page

People often talk, pumpkin, of a "clean slate", or a "new leaf". It's that situation that occurs so seldom in one's life, in which one can begin anew what one wants to undertake. This clearing off of commitments doesn't happen very often in the wider world (to the point of being nigh impossible), but it can sometimes be managed in a professional capacity.

It is this that I am faced with today. My desk is clean and my commitments are few. I have time (albeit only a few hours) to take stock and to think about the way in which I am going to attack the next things I need to do, and changes that can be applied to existing work practices to make them more streamlined.

This freedom is not something that generally appears in life. In life, pumpkin, one is more likely to be making decisions on the fly. To feel like one is taking chances without all the relevant information, and with potentially massive ramifications.

I turned to your mother last night in the car on the way home, and said in an astonished voice "we're having a baby!". This drastic realisation comes to me at random times, and with a wildly fluctuating range of emotions. Last night it was surprise, tinged with excitement.

It was like, looking at her beautifully expanding belly, I had been given an intricately wrapped present. Like YOU are the blank page at which I can look with satisfaction, knowing that it is my responsibility to fill you with ideas, with desire for knowledge and delight at new things.

Love you.

4 comments:

Feisty said...

Whatever your dad tells you, pumpkin, he did not invent lawnmowers.
Love,
Mum xx

Pol said...

Pumpkin,
eee your Pa knows his way around a word.

Fair brought a tear up there.

Don't be put off , I am writing like we do here in that yorkshire.
Only a hop skip n joomp from where your Ma is from.

Unca' Polx

yes never believe the fanciful lawn mower stories.

E in Oz said...

You're gonna make a great dad. This blog shows that quite clearly.
E :-)

Paul said...

Miss Eve is right. Your father didn't invent the lawn-mower.

I did.

Along with the hair-dryer, smarties, the internet, coca-cola, cars, and jaffa cakes.