October 05, 2005
Rae and Grammy Linda
It does, however, make for the easy flow of conversation and the further enjoyment of whatever fabulous nosh is on offer.
I spoke to Annie today. Annie is Rae's partner, an astonishing woman who you will get to spend considerable time with as you grow. She told me that the current thoughts around Rae's memorial service are fluctuating between getting a bright red coffin, or having a painting bee and asking people to add personal touches to what Annie called "that beautiful woman's final accessory".
Annie spoke about her grief, saying that she felt afloat in a giant ocean. That every now and then she'd feel like she was getting on top of it and then get swamped all over again. The overall impression I got, though, was one of relief. Relief that this woman she loved, who had fought so hard for so long, got a chance to close her eyes and rest. Relief that she got to go peacefully, in their bed, alongside her lover. That her final words had been asking Annie when they would go to Paris again.
It makes me feel some measure of solace, knowing that her thoughts as she was leaving must have been of visiting Paris in the spring with her partner.
Annie, Ben and Christian are asking that people make donations to the Breast Cancer Foundation in lieu of buying flowers, and that if people do want to bring flowers, that they bring a posy from their own garden. I think I'm going to put together a little bunch of herbs. The rosemary and the thyme are both flowering right now, and it strikes me that if I'm going to give Rae a bouquet to take with her, that it should be a bouquet garni. I think she'd like that.