I have to tell you something, punkin.
Today I said goodbye to someone who you will never get a chance to know properly. Someone who held you close when you were very young. Someone whose capacity for love and laughter was unmatched by anyone I've ever met.
Rae was a rare and beautiful flower, sent to us by who knows what other forces. A shining light who shone on this world and all who were privileged enough to spend any time with her.
Rae was your Grammy's very good friend, and had shown your mum and dad (and, during the all too brief time you got to spend with her, you), an enormous generosity of spirit.
When good people get taken from us, punkin, we tell ourselves that we need to keep an eye on the big picture. That they are taken because they have a higher purpose, a greater duty. That God, or Vishnu, or Buddha has seen their great good works and has taken them unto his or her or its bosom. That their essence and soul will permeate the world, to bring love and light and happiness to millions.
That doesn't make it any easier.
So then we try to hold them in our hearts, because that's all we have.
Know this. Rae loved you. Rae loves you. Wherever she is now, she held you when you were very small, and passed on to you some of her spirit.
Some small part of her will live on in you, and me, and her kids Ben and Christian, and her wonderful partner Annie, and your Grammy and Grandad, and everyone whose lives she got a chance to touch.
Never miss a chance to tell the people you love that you love them. It could be the last chance you get.
Love you.
3 comments:
A beuatiful post. Simply beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Please excuse the sloppy typing. I was wiping a tear from my eye...
My Dear Bram,
Rae was my friend for almost thirty years. She was a constant, dear, funny, straight forward woman who made it easy to love her. She liked walking and talking and gossiping, eating and drinking and just hanging out. She had a wonderful sense of style, and although you can’t tell from the photo (taken in the last months of her life when the drugs and the disease had done a number on her) she was beautiful.
We talked often about our sons and in the last year or so we talked about you. She knew she wasn’t going to see her grandchildren, so we decided that you would be her grandson too. I am glad that she got to hold you.
Your dad doesn’t mention it, but the first time your mum left you with anyone she left you with Rae and Annie and me. When Grandad and I came to visit you back in June our friend Lola asked us to find us a tree for a birth gift for you. We were visiting Rae and Annie one morning and the subject came up. Straight away there was much discussion of the best type of tree and the best (and most reasonably priced) place to buy it. Then we phoned the tree shop, and off they went to buy a tree leaving you with the three of us. That’s the way things happened with Rae – she always knew what to do and how to do it. She was a great planner, and always knew where to find the best deal. So you my darling boy moved from lap to lap for two hours while we had cups of tea and talked. You were perfectly behaved, and we all adored you.
Rae taught me a lot, and I loved her. I can only hope that in your life you have a friend like her. She was one of a kind. I would like to write more (and maybe I will another time), but this is enough for now.
Rae was not one for wallowing in emotion, but she would forgive me this. I am glad that she doesn't have to fight the fear and the pain any more, but I will miss her every day of my life.
I love you Abraham William, sleep well.
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