January 07, 2005

Perambulation Breakdown Part Deux

So there we were, pumpkin. Standing in the pram store on High Street, faced with a dozen choices, behind them a dozen more. Red strollers, blue ones, four wheels, three wheels, laybacks, zippers and buckles. A stroller was picked out from the pack. Red it was, with ABC on its flanks. A price was quoted, a lower one sought. A discount was obtained, the purchase was upon us.

The gang retired to the pavement to talk over the deal. We came to the decision, after to-ing and fro-ing, that we needed coffee and cake.

Of course, after downing a gigantic slice of honeycomb cheesecake, we realised that we had not seen Nearly Enough Prams, and that a trip to the Giant Purveyors of BabyGoods was in order.

Saddling up the blönk, and laying in provisions (a bag of snakes), we set off across the wilds in search of the fabled location. After an interminable drive across much of creation, we came to the gates of the babyland, and marveled at its magnificence.

Crossing through into the halls of babygoods, we were confronted by a veritable cornucopia of prams, an order of magnitude more than had been at the previous location. Your father naturally immediately found a pram that looked like a spaceship, with a pricetag that bore an uncanny resemblance to the budget for the space program. No speakers though.

After further investigation, I found one that I really liked. It had all of the features that we were looking for, and was red. Unfortunately, pumpkin, you will remember what I said about the way men shop. This method of shopping is all very well and good, provided that your mother is not present.

Your mother, pumpkin, as is the case with many of her fair gender, shops holistically. She examines the object of desire and sees it as a whole, rather than as a collection of features. In the case of the pram that I had discovered, the problem was that, in her eyes (which, you will recall, pumpkin, work far better than mine), it was ugly. This, of course, for a baby destined to be so pretty as you, Simply Would Not Do.

Some earnest discussions were held, involving sitting down, talking very slowly and politely and walking off to look at some other prams.

A compromise was hammered out, an achievement not dissimilar to the drawing up of the Treaty of Versailles.

This, then, pumpkin, is your dad.

With your pram.

A Valco Runabout Series II Deluxe, in Black Magic with matching sunshade and Cocoon. I think you'll like it.


2 comments:

Liz said...

I have seen the pram..er stroller..um..space ship..thingamajig. It is truly awesome. I'm glad you didn't get a red one with ABC on it. The black is far more elegant, and of course 'elegance' is the most important thing when it comes to babies.

Pol said...

Regarding the name chaps.

do not use this

http://chavscum.co.uk/name.php