The Waiting Game draws on

It is a truth universally acknowledged, punkin, that time is relative. That in some situations the passage of, for instance, an hour, can seem to take a whole day (usually this is at around 3pm on a Tuesday). In other situations, an hour can seem to last only minutes, often whilst one is playing videogames or surfing the web.

The last couple of weeks, punkin, have been interesting in this regard. Interesting, because they have seemed to travel both very very slowly and very very quickly.

Sitting here now, with a scant 11 days left until your due date, it seems that this period of time is both miniscule and gigantic simultaneously.

Looking at it in terms of its relationship to the ever growing list of 'things I want to accomplish before I become a father", which includes but is not limited to: bungee jumping, learning to juggle, cleaning up the bedroom and getting a new batch of homebrew on the go, it seems to be just the other side of fourteen seconds. Certainly, at 7:30pm on a Sunday night after an already busy day, there's a lot to be said for having another glass of red wine and watching TV instead, but in the words of the wonderful Charles Gray in a James Bond film called Diamonds Are Forever (which I will no doubt force you to watch at some stage), it's late, I'm tired, and there is much left to do.

Having said all that, this last week or so has seemed to drag on inTERminably. We're waiting for you to get here, but we don't know when that will be. Every minute that passes I'm thinking "is that the last minute before it all happens?" It's infuriating, and intoxicating, and I don't know how much longer I can wait.

Everyone seems to think that you have your mind made up already about when you're going to get here, and I'm just wondering, if maybe it isn't too inconvenient, if you could let us know? I know that communication at the moment's a bit on the difficult side, but I'm sure I can pick up Morse Code fairly quickly, if you just want to kick out a date and time on your mum's belly.

Love you.