on further reflection

Having spoken to my "agent" (the fabulous MissJane, with whom we will be travelling to a wedding on Saturday), I've decided that the erstwhile publication that was the originator of the text you see above did not, in any case, deserve to have our diary published in it, and that, furthermore, Ernest Hemingway papered an entire room with rejection letters, and he was, like, famous and stuff. Also, let's face it, if the worst thing that happens is that I don't get this published, then that's not such a bad thing anyway, at least then you won't have to spend your whole life explaining to people that, yes, you are that pumpkin.....

In other news, your mum and I think that we have decided on a name for you if you're a boy. People close to us will know that your girl name was decided long ago, before we were even pregnant, and that we've been strugging for a while with your boy name. I'm not going to give too much away, but I think it would be fun if I give you a few clues.

• You will not be named, in whole or in part, directly after any of your immediate relatives
• Your first name will be "normal", easy to spell and say, and leave you open to as little playground teasing as possible.
• Your middle name is likely (although neither has as yet been chosen yet) to be slightly more esoteric and probably of a different ethnic origin than your first name
• Your first name in both cases has been around for at least 200 years
• The "full" version of your boy name stems from Hebrew, and is in the Old Testament, but the shortened version that we will use is slightly newer, but was commonly used as early as 1847 in Ireland
  
• Your girl name is old English in origin

I think that's enough for now. Hopefully we don't know anyone clever enough to figure all that out, of course there are some people who know already, but hopefully they can be trusted to keep their traps shut.

Love you.