October 21, 2004

stony miles

The upcoming weekend, my punkling, will be chockablock with things for your mum and I to do. The wedding of the Lovely Robyn and her man Mr Braden is on Saturday, so that should be lovely, and our friend Tracey's birthday party is on Sunday.

People's lives can seem sometimes to be made up of, respectively, milestones and the dead space in between them. Weddings, birthdays, funerals can seem to be markers that show us how far we have come, and what we have achieved. Whilst hesitant to use lines that have been massively overquoted in a million other places, a very famous father once told his then infant son in a song that "life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

There is a concerted effort among advertisers and makers of schmaltzy movies to convince you otherwise, but pumpkin trust me when I say that these days, these milestone days, are just like any other. It follows, therefore, that you should not treat them any different to other days. This is not true, and exposes the folly of my argument, but bear with me.

Anyone you ask will tell you that your dad loves a party. This is absolutely the case, and I'm not suggesting for a moment that we should not enjoy and celebrate the passing of years or the joining of two people. What I am telling you, pumpkin, is that the most important part about a wedding is what happens between those two people in the months before it and the years afterward. That a birthday is only of note because it lets us all stop and reflect on what has happened in the year beforehand.

Tiny steps, pumpkin, can take us miles and miles, but we should know that we've come a long way without passing a milestone.

Love you,

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