Nonetheless, let me tell you that I am singularly proud of your achievements in the going to sleep arena. Last night you went down with hardly a murmur, and tonight you cried for a grand total of 12 and a half minutes before you drifted off to sleep. Congratulations, punkling, it looks like you're going to join your mum and dad in being inordinately fond of a bit of pillow sniffing.
Sleeping, and indeed sleeping in, are considered recreational activities in the Peeny-Deeny household, punkin, replete with their own rules, arena and uniforms. Luckily, the vast majority of the clothing that you own falls into the 'pyjama' category, and therefore there's no possibility of you getting a red card for transgressing any of those arcana.
There are, however, some peculiar regional variations of which you should be aware.
- It is mandatory that one supply one's own reading material. Failing to do so, and attempting to procure a book from anyone else can and will result in being bonked on the nose by a bookspine.
- In the event that one has failed to procure reading material, it is unacceptable in the extreme to indulge in any form of 'spoiling', e.g. placing one's hand on the page someone else is reading, hitting or otherwise moving their book, or telling them about the vital and earth shattering plot point revealed on page 113.
- The first person out of bed on a Saturday is automatically in charge of breakfast, and must attempt to meet or exceed the breakfast requirements of everyone else in the house. (nb: this rule will be applied at the discretion of the umpire, i.e. me, until you are old enough to boil a kettle and use the toaster)
ps We are working on the design. Please bear with us.