Game Plan for Grammy Groundwork

The question arose last night, pumpkin, as your mother and I grappled with the fact that your grandmother arrives tomorrow, about your outfit for the big arrival. We'll be sure to take photos so you can remember it, although Grammy Linda has a rule that no-one's allowed to take her photo after she gets off the plane until she's had a chance to wash her face. This seems to me to be a sensible rule, and I would imagine that most celebrities wish that they had the opportunity to enforce it on la papparazza.

In any case, these are the facts. Your grandmother is as we speak on the Big Silver Bird (at the pointy end, no less), and she will be with us in around 24 hours. This will be one of the more momentous events in your life so far.

I'm not sure precisely what the plan is for tomorrow, but it usually runs along the lines of picking up your Grammy and Grandpa from the airport in the morning, Grammy cries a lot, and then we go to Aunt Wendy's for lunch. You remember Aunt Wendy of course, she came to see you at the hospital when you were about 2 days old.

As for the rest of the two weeks that she's here with us, we don't have any firm plans at this stage, but I'd say that it's likely you'll be seeing a fair bit of her. She's very excited that you've arrived, in fact I think it's ok to say that she's probably the person apart from us who has been the most vocally excited about it.

You'll get to meet your Grandpa too. Because your Grammy is so... rowdy, it's easy to lose sight of this, but you should treasure this moment too. You're lucky in so many ways, punkling, that sometimes we forget that you're lucky enough to have THREE grandfathers, rather than the standard complement of two, and that in this case you have absolutely lucked out in that they all have different areas of expertise on which to proffer advice to you.

Your Grandpa Phil, punkling, is without a doubt the best person to turn to for concrete answers. When your life is troubled by shades of grey, when you are despairing at the thought of never being able to find definitive answers to your many and varied questions, turn to Phil. God knows I do.