May 22, 2005

Operation Procreation Pt 1

It strikes me that I haven't actually talked about the first hours of your life. It seems to my sleep deprived and addled brain, punkling, that I have skipped over the circumstances of your birth, and I'm positive that I haven't had a chance to share the photo entitled "Birth of Frankenstein".

I think that the post from the day before you were born segues nicely into what happened after it, even if only in a post-Alanis piece of irony.

You see - the last thing that I talked about on the day before you arrived was that your mum was going to the lobstertrician. Looking back, I think that perhaps saying to you that you should get your act together was a mistake, and that I would have been better served to suggest that you stay put for a little while. I had failed to take into account the total lack of clocks and calendars in-utero, and it strikes me that you therefore thought that what I was suggesting was an immediate evacuation.

Your mum called me right after her appointment with Dr Pete on the 3rd, saying what I had expected her to say, that everything was proceeding according to plan, but that no-one really had any idea when you were going to arrive.

It was then, punkin, that your uncle Harry decided to throw his hat into the ring.

You see, Dr Pete's Lobstertrician's Rooms are a hop skip and a jump (or in your mum's case at that stage, a step, a rest and a waddle) away from Harry's work. It made perfect sense at the time for your mum to go and see Harry after her appointment for a cup of hot beverage on Lygon St.

Harry, being the inquisitive person that he is, chose to ask your mum a few pointed questions about precisely when you were likely to arrive. Your mother of course answered that she didn't really know, and that no-one really knew, and that (theoretically) you could arrive anytime.

"SO", asked Harry (and I'm paraphrasing here, punkling, so forgive me, "Pumpkin could get here like RIGHT NOW?".

Within half an hour of that conversation, my sweet and lovely and insomniacal child, your mum was in labour, and things started to happen very quickly indeed.


E in Oz said...

Ok, so Harry's a bit scary....but do you think he might be able to suggest that Carlton might start to win a few games? Just a thought.

...hope Bram's already got a navy blue beanie...

Paul said...

I'm not that scary...

...although I have my moments.


Anyway, it turns out that my ability to control the universe only extends to events that have been scheduled to begin inside the coming week, and which have alsoe been signposted for the previous nine months.

Not such an impressive feat. However, If I had any real power, trust me, the world into which you were born would be very, very different.