May 11, 2005

Note to self


Don't eat the nose!
Originally uploaded by billyjoebob.
When, during a scheduled 3am pitstop, the child begins to evacuate directly onto the bunnyrug on the changetable, DO NOT remove the bunnyrug in order to clean it. PUT A NAPPY ON THE CHILD. When, subsequent to bunnyrug removal, the child begins to decorate the changetable, DO NOT pick the child up in order to clean the change table, PUT A NAPPY ON THE CHILD. There is no way to ensure precisely when a defacatory episode has reached its denouement.

Also, that is the second time, my darling punkling, that you have willfully, and with intent, urinated on your father.

I'm your territory.
I get it.
Now stop pissing on me.

Current number of items soaking in NapiSan in the bathroom sink: 7

Maternal & Child Health Care Nurse visit: you have put on 3 times as much weight as normal for a bebe 2 days out of horsepickle. Boob Juice Freak indeed. Current weight: 3.88 kilograms (8.38 pounds) up from 3.6 kilograms (8 pounds) at birth.

Love you.

2 comments:

E in Oz said...

You said, "Also, that is the second time, my darling punkling, that you have willfully, and with intent, urinated on your father. I'm your territory, I get it, now stop pissing on me."

I think it's a boy thing...my brother did the same thing to my dad.

...Nice to see you're still blogging all of this too. :-)

Liz said...

Alright Brambill, the time has come for my first post since your birth. I can't believe that even writing this now makes me feel all overly emotional (which is a bit embarrassing as I'm sneakily writing this at work). It's not that you don't warrant such emotion - you are a beautiful, almost serene at times, child - but I'm neither a relative by blood or marriage, just a keenly interested friend. I didn't expect to nearly burst into tears when your Dad thrust you into my arms the moment I arrived at the hospital on the day you were born. In fact, I didn't even expect to be within more than a few meters of you for at least a week, and even then I thought I'd be viewing you behind glass in a sea of other babies in cribs. Things have obviously changed since my younger brothers and sisters were born. I expected to be excited. I expected to be relieved that you and your Mum were physically ok (I felt quite anxious about this at times for no particular reason). I didn't expect to be holding back tears when I first met you, or every time I read or tried to post on this blog. This is one of the reasons it's taken me a week to post this message.

The second reason I haven't posted 'til now is that with I've been spending my time actually visiting you in hospital, and also looking after your canine comrades. Harry and I are now back at our own home, as you are now in yours (Harry isn't a dog - he was just at your place helping too).

BUT the most important reason I haven't posted until now is that last night was Top Model night. You wouldn't realise just yet (you'll be repeatedly reminded when you're older) that you chose to start the whole contraction thing on Top Model night. This meant that your parents missed an episode, and Harry and I had to watch the show with pain-related-noise coming from your Mum - very distracting. So, last night was the first time you properly joined your Mum, Dad, Harry and I in watching the show. It was a test - and you passed. You actually slept through the whole thing - less than a foot away from the telly. I respect that.