This is undeniably, Mr Penford-Dennis , a photograph of you sleeping. I'm a little confused, however, because it shows you sleeping in a location with which I'm unfamiliar. You see, punkling, it appears that you have decided the only place you want to sleep during the night is on your dad's chest.
This is a fine idea, and has some merit to it. Certainly, monsters will not attack you if you're snuggled up to your dad, and it's unlikely that you're going to be cold. But Bram, there's a few things we need to sort out.
I know that I asked you recently to stop urinating on me, but perhaps I was too specific. Please stop inundating me with your bodily fluids. Certainly the display of projectile vomit last night was impressive, and had your mother and I laughing hysterically and chanting "the power of Christ compels you", but I don't think that you needed to perform an encore at 3am directly into my neck.
"Skin to skin contact" all the books say is a sure way to keep you healthy and happy. A cute misnomer like "posseting", punkling, in no way prepared me for the torrents with which I was presented early this morning. Perhaps the books should mention a handy towel as well.
2 comments:
Good Morning Abraham William,
Things I forgot to tell your dad -
1. Babies pee on you, and throw up on you, and poop on you - for the next fifteen years or so. (Ask your dad about Uncle David throwing up on Phil's kitchen floor).
2. Babies will sleep when they will sleep and where they will sleep. (your dad was famous for refusing to go to sleep, and then just lying down anywhere and sleeping - ask him about how he fell asleep and landed in the dinner of the nice man who was sitting next to him on the airplane).
There is a more, but I will wait until I see you (only 13 days and counting).
lots of love
Grammy Linda
ps Grandad Phil and Grandma Kowalski have been shopping - you don't need to worry you will have your Michigan t-shirt soon.
pps Yes Dad, a towel is advisable at all times.
Hey kid,
I've been told that the name 'Simon' is inappropriate for one of the characters in the game I'm designing, so he needs to get a new name...
How'd you feel if I tried to name him after you?
Also, in my research, I did a search for 'bram' on the names database: http://www.incompetech.com/named/
and it came up with this:
Bram
Irish-Gaelic
Male
Raven
That might not be useful now, but trust me. When you're 14 years old, and trying to be a dark, mysterious goth (which, with a name like Bram, how could you not be) that raven connection will come in incredibly handy.
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